I'm currently on my way back to Guelph with my dad and my nan, and I'm having the hardest time keeping my eyes open. If it wasn't for my dad slapping my knee to wake me up everytime he notices I'm dozing off, I'm sure I'd be passed right out. I can't wait for Christmas to finally be over, so that I can stop getting morning hours at work (waking up early is killlling me), and stop stressing about money. This holiday has completely drained all of my funds. The only thing I'm remotely stoked about right now is getting paid for not working on Christmas day.

P.s., It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't finished my Christmas shopping. Fuck my life.

I haven't updated in forever, so here goes.

My grandpa died recently, and although I never met him before, it's turned out to be a huge thing for me. I constantly find myself trying to help out my family, and be there for them while they grieve, but I don't feel as though I'm helping them at all. I've had to call in for work at Food Basics for three days, so that I could work for my uncle so he could have a few days off, and it seems almost as though he doesn't even appreciate it. Instead all I get back from him are smart assed remarks that are completely unneccesary. And my grandma has been completely miserable towards me (even before his death, and even though she has been divorced from him for about 30 years), and she's even starting to be rude to my mom. It's just so frustrating when you get in shit for doing nothing at all. I don't even feel like talking to her/around her anymore. Ugh.
Also, today my mom asked me if I would ever consider moving to Austrailia with her. She's been offered a job there for a few years now, and although this isn't the first time she has been seriously considering it, I sort of think that she's actually going to take it this time. However, it would be under the condition that I moved with her.. and so I think I will. Although it's going to be so hard for me to leave Canada, it would be such a great oppourtunity for her, and I think I need to start thinking about what she wants some more. I mean, after all, she would do just about anything for me (regardless of how crazy she gets at times) and I think it's about time I gave something back. So I told her that I would, under the condition that I got to come back to Canada at leeeast twice a year (which she was fine with). So then she told me that she would have a final answer at the end of summer, on whether or not we're going to do it. I'm a little scared for the end result, but at the same time, I'm a little excited for a fresh start.
Lastly, I got a tattoo the other night, and although I really love it, I sort of feel as though I want to do something different to it. Mainly just make the lining thicker, and perhaps make the pink a bit brighter, but I'm not completely sure yet. I guess I should just give it time to heal before I make any final decisions on what I'm going to do with it. I just get so self-concious about things like these, and I need to learn to relax!
Ugh, never happening.

Due to not having constant access to a computer, I haven't been able to update very regularly. However, I have some time today to do so, so here goes:

Basically, the past two weeks have been pretty shitty. I've been working just about every day, and have been spending money just as quick as I've gotten it. Ontop of that, I've been ridiculously stressed out from work, and a whole bunch of other things, and ugh.
Anyway, on Wednesday while I was at my theater class, someone(s) snuck into the back room and went through all the students bags, and stole tons of valuables. People had their iPods, cell phones, and wallets taken, where as I just had my cell phone taken. However, they did attempt to take my wallet, but I suppose they dropped it while they were running out, because I found it in an alley behind the building, with nothing missing from it. (Thank God)
Also, last night my mom decided that she wants me to move back to Guelph and go to school in Cambridge, due to a shooting that took place the other night around the school I was supposed to attend. However, I can't decide whether or not I'm happy that I can move back to Guelph, or sad that I have to leave Brampton. I mean, I've just started making friends here in Brampton, and now I have to just drop everything and go back to Guelph. Hopefully if I do go back to Guelph I can get my old job at East Side Mario's back. That way I won't have to waste time job hunting, and I'll have a job that I acutally enjoy.
Lastly, it's my birthday on Wednesday and I have NO plans at all. It's going to suck so much, but hopefully my birthday celebration goes well on Friday. If you've been invited, come!

:)

You've changed.
You're not the person I used to know, and I not very thrilled with your new personality.
You've become way too cocky, and you're starting to think you know it all.
You don't.



Anyway, lately things have been pretty good. I've been working a lot, making lots of money, and have been going out the odd time and really enjoying myself. I'm pretty excited about the fact that I'm starting to make some friends in Brampton, so I won't be sitting at home every night by myself anymore.
Although, I'm really starting to miss a few people. Since I've been working so much lately, I've had very limited spare time, and haven't been able to go visit the people that I really want to see. It's quite upsetting, and I'm starting to worry over the fact that I might lose touch with a few great people. Ugh.

On another note, I've lost a few pounds recently, and have cut back on my excessive eating habits. I know it's lame, but I'm really starting to feel a lot better about my appearance. Woo. Also, I went to Guelph on Monday, and was thrilled to find out that my mom had purchased me a new computer with her American Express points. It has a 22' monitor which can rotate, and looks so awesome. Here's a picture:



However, I don't get it until I go to school next year, which is sort of a bum out, but regardless, it's an awesome gift.

Overall, things seem to be going really well lately (knock on wood), and I'm hoping they stay like this for a while.

I can't believe how into you I used to be.
I would have given or done anything just for a chance to be with you.
Looking at pictures of you reminds me of how insane about you I used to be, and it's so embarrassing.
Although, I must admit, I do miss you, and I miss how things used to be.
I claim to dislike you, but you and I both know that it's not entirely true.


Hope all is going well.

I'm too tired for this.
I just tried to type in "livejournal.com" in the search bar, but instead I put "lovejournal.com" and it took me to this: http://www.myspace.com/loveletters_com

Right on.


Anyway, it's 4:00 in the morning and I am so exhausted from working all day. For the last few Sundays I have been working from 12:00 - 10:30, and it's really starting to irritate me. It wouldn't be so bad if I had someone fun to close with, and who I could talk to, but instead I'm just stuck with fat, annoying cashiers who talk like they're all that. (N).

More news: I currently have $200 saved, $170 in my wallet, and $150 that my uncle is going to give me within the next few days. I'm excited that I've actually managed to save some money, considering I usually just spend it as I get it. However, the $170 will be gone within the next two days, because I have to buy Jen's birthday present, my aunts birthday present, and Laurens birthday present. Oh, and Gossip Girl. ;) Oh well.

On Thursday Lauren and I are going downtown Toronto to shop. Hopefully by then my uncle will have given me my $150, so that I'll have some spending money. If you're in the area, you should come hang out with us. I'm pretty sure Jade is coming as well, so let's make plans!

Oh, and come to Jen's birthday party too! It's going to be awesome. I can't wait.

I can't really think of anything else to update on, so when I do I guess I'll write back?
Beh.

I will never give you what you want from me.

I don't want to change you. I like you just the way you are.
All I have ever wanted was to mean something to you.
I want to be able to believe that the things you say to me are real.
You have the potential to be such an amazing person, and I just wish that you would see that.









If I haven't given up on you yet, what makes you think I would give up on you now?

By the end of tomorrow I will have worked 32 hours in three days.
I'm exhausted and tired. I've slept for ten hours so far this weekend, and I feel as though I'm just going to fall over and pass out any second.

On the bright side, I've managed to save up $200 in two weeks. If I continue this pattern, by the time I go to Montreal I'll have roughly $1, 000 saved. Woo. It's exciting.

You're starting to sound sketchy.

I don't really want to talk to you anymore.

Sorry!